1. Reframe and learn from setbacks
You can do this right now. Think about a major failure, setback or challenge you experienced in your life.
- What conclusions have you made about that experience?
- What conclusions have you made about yourself as a result? (For example, did you fail because you weren’t good enough? That’s your fixed mindset talking. Notice it. Own it.)
Now, without changing the facts, how could you shift the story you’re telling yourself about that event in a way that helps you learn from it?
- What did you learn from the experience?
- What did you learn about yourself?
- What did you gain, that you would not have gained otherwise, by going through the experience?
By reframing our past experiences through a growth lens, we expand our belief in our ability to continue growing!
2. Reframe your questions
On Sunday evenings, I used to look at the week ahead, trying to determine how I could get everything accomplished on my to-do list in the limited timeframe I had available. This usually led to losing some sleep on Sunday nights!
One recent Sunday evening, my wife asked, “What are you most looking forward to this week?” Her question challenged my mindset. Instead of planning my week from a scarcity mindset of not enough time, I could instead choose to focus on what I’m excited to do! Her question created a new possibility for me; it shifted the entire way I framed the week ahead.
Now, when I plan my week, I ask myself, “What are you most looking forward to this week?” Instead of feeling nervous and drained, I feel energized. By asking myself this question, I am shifting my mindset about the upcoming week!
Powerful questions can do that. Ask yourself the following questions to shift from a fixed to growth mindset:
- What will I challenge myself to learn today?
- What did I learn today? How can I use this going forward?
- What am I proud about in terms of my effort today?
- Where did I struggle today, and what can I learn from this?
- What can I learn from this success/failure/setback/etc.?
- How have I grown over the last week/month/year/etc.?
- Where am I more skilled now than I was [x] years ago, and how did I improve?
3. Notice (and change) your self-talk
“I am so dense. How could I…”
“I am terrible at [x]”
“I will never be good at [x]”
Have you ever said anything like this to yourself? We can talk to ourselves this way without even realizing the deep impact it has.
First, notice your self-talk. Then, ask yourself, “Is this serving my growth?”
If it’s not, what affirmations can you replace it with to inspire growth? For example:
- “I am always learning and growing.”
- “Mistakes help me learn and grow.”
- “I strive for progress, not perfection.”
- “I embrace new challenges.”
4. Embrace feedback
Recognize feedback for what it truly is: information that helps you grow. View it as a gift, welcome and appreciate it… all of it. Express gratitude when others invest in you by providing their feedback.
For you to embrace feedback with a growth mindset, ensure it is actionable. When someone provides you positive feedback, don’t brush it off in an attempt to be humble (this is a lost learning opportunity!). Learn from it. Ask questions to help the other person get specific about what you did well, so you can do it more often. For example, “What specifically did I do that helped that project go well?”
5. Shine the light on other people’s growth
When I was ten years old, my soccer coach told me how proud he was that I had become a vocal leader of the team. Previously, I had been a quiet, shy player. Through lots of effort (and getting uncomfortable!), I became more vocal and outwardly passionate. My coach noticed this and shared it with me.
Why do I still remember this, all these years later? Because my coach shined the light on my growth, and it felt good!
Encourage others’ growth by shining the light on what you see! Not only can this make you a superhero for others, you’re cultivating a growth mindset in both of you!